Sunday, April 18, 2010

17th & 18rd April 2010

Front and centre: Who's the chubby fella smiling as a tight square closes in on his face? It's Etobicoke North councillor Rob Ford, the man currently in second place to be the next Lord Mayor of Toronto. Ford's the guy who made everyone angry a few years ago by saying that "Oriental people work like dogs" and are "slowly taking over." He also made headlines when he was arrested for assaulting his wife in 2008. But that's all in the past. These days, Ford's like an amazing souped-up, unracist car that just wants to be mayor. Forget Toronto, Rob—you should be the mayor of Heaven!

Top: There's a ton of stuff going on here: lottery winners, a woman/baby duo and some good news for dropouts. It's like the journalistic equivalent of an everything bagel. Do you guys like those kinds of bagels?

MAN: Hey blue car! Why so sad?
BLUE CAR: Oh, y'know. I'm sick of being blue all the time.
MAN: Come on, baby. Want me to cheer you up? Let me cheer you up!
BLUE CAR: Uh . . . do you mean, like, you're going to put your feet in my glove compartment and wiggle them around?
MAN: Big time.
BLUE CAR: Yeah . . . I think I'm good.

Summary: A fat man in a square.

** (out of 5)

Front and centre: A boy has survived a crazy accident, but hold the phone....

Top: $75 Gs! He's like the homeless equivalent of the $6 Million Man. Also: with $4 million we could buy all sorts of products for each other.

Bottom: The cartoon gentleman owes $70,000 to a violent gang from the funny pages.

Summary: Today is my birthday.

** (out of 5)


  1. Sunday Sun - wait a minute...a profile of a pugnacious pitbull who seems to have the Sun editorial board support already?

    I thought the Sun was anti-dog (Devil Dog, Guergis). Does this mean at some point we're going to have to see Rob Ford's balls?

  2. Oh man... someone needs to run that Rob Ford picture through Photoshop and slap an "OBEY" on it.