Saturday, April 10, 2010

10 April 2010

Front and centre: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Today the Sun set back gender relations 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years by literally comparing a woman to a dog! Let's investigate: on the left we have Helena Guergis, the recently resigned Conservative Junior Minister of State for the Status of Women. You may remember Guergis from her batshit crazy boot-throwing tantrum at the Charlottetown airport? She's also being investigated by the RCMP for shady business dealings with her amazing husband. On the right we have Genny, a three-year-old black lab that is (hilariously!) running for city council in Durham. Talk about news of the weird! While it's true that Guergis is a crazy idiot, she is still, in the words of Nellie McClung, a "person." So, what is the Sun actually saying here?

A) Guergis is a dog for being a bad politician
B) all female politicians are dogs
C) all women are dogs
D) lock women in cages

I believe the answer the Sun is looking for is D! Let's party! The Sun may as well have juxtaposed a black man with an ape. Or an Irishman with an overflowing toilet.

Top: Tiger Woods is playing a little bit of sports. Also: 18,000,000 beautiful dollars.

Bottom: If you've got girl problems I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 problems and one of them is a money problem.

Summary: Today's Toronto Sun cover wouldn't look out of place on the Afghanistan Herald. Taliban in da house!

***** (out of 5)

2 comments:

  1. Nice infantile analysis. Why do you bother?

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  2. The Sun is a piece of shit newspaper, with no class, ethics or conscious, they never have been and never will be a good paper. Losers with no vision other then the classless standard manage all the papers in the chain. I hope the paper folds and dies to never be seen again. I know this because I am an employee at one of the Suns who wishes for this. That is how bad it is to work for these cocksuckers. They want nothing to do with good journalism. It's all made up cheese and sleaze.

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