Front and centre: The Leafs have rattled the Sabres, 4-2. How many times do you think the Sun has used this "sabre rattling" pun? The sports department must have some sort of pun chart they refer to whenever the Leafs win a game. "Leafs Extinguish Flames." "Leafs Chemically Castrate Predators." "Leafs Defeat Sickos." I would have preferred a front page picture of the World's Sexiest DJ. Music gives her chills throughout her entire body, man.Up top: Two men have been convicted of manslaughter for the 2005 Yonge Street shooting of an innocent girl. $20,000,000 is up for grabs. And the Sun is angry that Toronto city councillors have been travelling to transit conferences around the world on taxpayer dollars, like a bunch of bus-and-train-obsessed Gatsbys.
Bottom: The Chevrolet Get More Event is here. What are you even talking about?
Summary: An utter failure! Thankfully, today's Good Friday parade means that tomorrow's cover will likely feature a Portuguese or Italian man dressed up like Jesus.* (out of 5)
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