Friday, May 7, 2010

7 May 2010

Front and centre: I don't mind if my tax dollars pay for a man to dress up like a brown bear. I don't mind if they pay for a man to dress up like a polar bear. But if you expect me to sit back and keep my mouth shut while my tax dollars pay for a man to dress up like a penguin, I will slap your face and murder your body. We've got a penguin-lover at City Hall, folks. Time for some major change.

And judging by his size, I wouldn't be surprised if mayoral hopeful and AIDS activist Rob Ford consumed all 600 egg rolls himself in one Herculean session.

Topmost: Montreal beat Pittsburgh 3-2. Also: with $15 million, we could pay a balloon sculptor to make a gigantic Rob Ford balloon and use it to scare all the children out of the city.


Young Lover: Hey, baby. Wanna go for a ride in my big yellow car?
Beautiful Woman: I probably shouldn't....
Young Lover: Why you gotta be that way, sugar dump?
Beautiful Woman: Because... I'm betrothed to a man in a blue car.
Young Lover: I am fortune's fool.

Summary: This one's for all the furries out there.

**** (out of 5)


  1. Well, it sure wouldn't be Robbie Ford eating taxpayer-funded anything. He's the only one down there who understands how hard us average Joes have to work to pay for those penguins.