Wednesday, June 23, 2010

23 June 2010

Front and centre: Just looking at this man's shitface for a split second makes my penis retract so violently inside my body that it takes a team of surgeons—and a sorceress—to reach in and pull the darn thing out again. He'd better not steal my table at Sneaky Dee's while he's in town!

On the top: In a lot of ways, the Greek soccer team's story is as tragic as the downfall of Oedipus: the team had sex with its mother, killed its father and lost to Argentina yesterday at the World Cup. Just like Oedipus. Also: how come no one wants to win the $50 million Lotto Max jackpot? Does the jackpot smell funny? What's wrong with the jackpot?

On the bottom: Should I spend $135,000 to live in a condo in Collingwood? Certainly! Did I happen to mention that I'm retarded?

Summary: I wonder if Stephen Harper and Yo-Yo Ma will reunite to perform another duet during the G20 summit? If not, there will be riots in the streets.

* (out of 5)

1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad they're remaking Risky Business, but Harper is entirely too young for the part of the guy listening to Bob Seger while wearing wayfarers.