Front and centre: Today a pretty lady is upset and things are serious. The lady in question has been kicked out of the Miss Universe Canada competition for appearing naked in an Ashley Madison ad last year, contravening the pageant's "no nudity" rule. The rule clearly states that no one is allowed to know what Miss Universe Canada's genitals look like until after the competition, or else the Universe will implode and God will be bummed forever.
Left: Germany may have humiliated Australia in yesterday's soccer match, but Australia is still kicking Germany's ass in the Dame department. Also: I am glad this tiny woman won $5.8 million. She is basically as small as a pea.
Bottom: New at Country Style: a sandwich that suits every kind of depression.
Summary: I'd like this woman to appear naked in an ad for Country Style.
** (out of 5)
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