I don't want Toronto to feel like dying.
If giving Usain Bolt a briefcase full of money is the only way we can get him to run around Toronto, than I'd prefer if he stayed in Jamaica. I mean, what are the Pan Am games about, anyway? Are they about champagne, cash and exclusive bunga bunga parties where you can change partners as often as you like? No. The Pan Am games are about obscure athletes testing themselves in the face of vast public indifference. Why must we poison this noble tradition with money?
Top: Just like they did on Seinfeld, Toronto city council has voted 38-4 to ban the possession, sale and consumption of shark fin soup. Surprisingly, mayor Rob Ford voted against the ban, saying, "No one has told me what to eat over the years so I can't really go and start telling people what to eat."
Bottom: Now that I can't get shark fin soup anymore, going to the Sunset Grill for supper will be a little less fun.
Summary: Usain Bolt was the funniest guy on Seinfeld. Remember "The Contest" episode? Holy smokes!
* (out of 5)