Front and centre: Sheesh. Yesterday we had a bullied disabled kid and today we have the weeping relative of a murder victim. Who's in charge of the Sun's covers these days––my depressed Slovak grandmother? I don't think I'm alone here when I say that the people of Toronto could use some razzle dazzle! (Or at least some pizzazz.)
Not to take away from the tragedy of this story, but what video, exactly, is the Sun offering here? Is it a murder?
The top: The Sun is encouraging its esteemed readership to storm City Hall and cheer on Rob Ford as he attempts to "crush" the city's $60 car registration tax (and not die of a massive, inevitable heart attack). Oh, to be part of that glorious mob! Just imagine the mind-bending sounds and smells! Just thinking about it makes me feel like destroying my genitals, once and for all! Also: with $40 million I could buy a new set of high-end balls.
Bottom: Who is DJing at the Arizona B-Bar & Grill on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? Whoever he is, he must be really good to get such a killer weekend.
Summary: Tomorrow's cover had better not be a picture of my grandmother sighing.
* (out of 5)
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