Front and centre: Did you know that Rob Ford wasn't a big fan of unions? I know! Holy shit--this man is just one jaw-dropping surprise after another. I can't believe it! Call me an insane guy, but I just assumed he was a big fat socialist. What are we going to learn next--he hates vegetables? He doesn't like soca music? He's not a big Atom Egoyan fan? I mean, really! How does he keep track of himself?Anyway, Ford's administration wants city workers to give up the employment security clause that guarantees them "jobs for life." Once this happens, all city workers will be fired and their jobs will be contracted out to one astonishingly productive Jamaican nanny.
Top: A poppy of remembrance. Also: the Toronto Leafs are gearing up for a little bit of hockey. Also: 8 pages in sports? 8 pages of what? Also: $17 million.
Bottom: You mean I can watch Pacquiao vs. Marquez and eat the best steaks in town all in the same building near the airport? I feel like I've died and gone near the airport.
Summary: ♪
H (out of 5)
Guys. My friend Pat Thornton is doing 24 hours of stand-up comedy to raise money to fight AIDS in Africa. Check it out here, watch him live at the Comedy Bar, make a donation, send him a joke, do the thing.
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