Top: Hey, Steve! (It's my friend Steve Scholtz.) I didn't know you were living in L.A. now. The clinical drug trials must have paid off. I went to L.A. once. Had a good time. While I was there I saw a gentleman get his head bashed against the hood of a car in front of Rodney Dangerfield's star on the Walk of Fame. Let's just say that the gentleman in question didn't get no respect! Also: the old Italian man has still won the lottery...
Bottom: So it's come to this. Country Style is selling oatmeal and Tim Hortons is selling espresso. Where's a scumbag supposed to get a shitty breakfast and a cup of hot mud these days?
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* Heart failure is a condition that hospitalizes 54,333 Canadians each year.