Thursday, November 10, 2011

10 November 2011

Front and centre: It's Remembrance Day Eve, everybody! Tonight's the night that Remembrance Man flies down our chimneys in his magic drone, has sex with a woman dressed up as Stephen Harper and shamelessly evokes the memory of dead soldiers to make the idea of spending billions of dollars on fighter jets, nuclear submarines and War of 1812 commemorations seem excellent. And then we feed him Oreos.

Thank you. And now... the cover, or whatever.

A pair of Canadian World War II veteran brothers are in an expensive pickle because an American insurance company is refusing to pay their $233,613.55 Ontario hospital bill. Yikes! You know what? I hate to say it, but I'm starting to think that these insurance companies? They might not be run by nice men. In fact, they might be run by dishonest gentlemen. Is that bad?

Top: Leafs goalie Jonas Gustavsson is having some trouble with his pipes. I've been there, buddy! Here's a tip for you: try eating more fruit. Cleans you right out. Also: lottery.

Bottom: Just a couple of ladies buying some glasses. Nothing to see here, you silly boys!

Summary: "Hey, you remember that TV miniseries called Band of Brothers? Well, I've got a crazy idea for a headline based on that show. The twist? It involves wordplay . . ."

* (out of 5)

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