Front and centre: The Occupy Toronto protest is nearly a month old and Sun columnist Joe Warmington is losing his shit in the most hilarious way possible: by hysterically citing the number of city bylaw infractions the protesters are committing in St. James Park, like the worst grandma in the world. I don't want to alarm anybody, but flowers and fungus are possibly being injured. Unauthorized picnics are happening. Rumours have circulated that people are swearing and being irreverent. What is this... Mogadishu? How can one city handle so much chaos and anarchy??? I'm so upset that I nearly smashed my tea cup against the settee.Warmington is particularly outraged by the presence of a native sacred fire in the park, warning that the protest "is starting to have a Caledonia feel to it." Nice. Way to stick it to those darn Indians for always causing trouble by standing up for their land rights and stuff. Fools!
Ticket away, Toronto. I'm pretty sure our soldiers didn't fight wars so that people could peacefully protest in public spaces.
Top: Lest we forget. Also: remember to buy your lotto MAX tickets.
Bottom: Win a Chevy Equinox and drive your sweetheart somewhere special for the weekend.
Summary: "Every great revolution begins with an unauthorized picnic. How's the bean salad?" -- Che Guevara & Gandhi
* (out of 5)
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