Tuesday, July 20, 2010

20 July 2010

Front and centre: In today's news, a grown man holds his nose because of a poo smell in the run-down Kew Beach public washroom. Judging by the man's over-the-top clowning, the poo smell must be apocalyptic—I'm thinking Level 4 Burrito, Family Edition? The Sun actually dispatched a professional photographer to Kew Beach to take pictures of sad toilets (hey, even Annie Leibovitz had to start somewhere). Call me a septic skeptic, but I think our friend on the cover is trying to pass the buck. As the Bible says, "Whoever smelt it dealt it on Kew Beach."

Astonishingly, this is only one of two toilet-related stories in today's Sun.

Top: Ontario's Environment Minister John Gerretsen is going to scrap the controversial eco-fee program that was making everyone poo their pants. Also: the Lotto Max jackpot is $50 million with $26 million in Maxmillions. With that kind of money, we could start a dedicated toilet-themed newspaper that focuses on the toilet stories you won't hear about in the Liberal media.

Bottom: You wanna see a pristine toilet? Do yourself a favour and head for the washrooms at the Arizona Bar & Grill. It's like shitting on a princess.

Summary: Aside from the poo smell, I also smell something else: a Pulitzer Prize for Investigative Reporting!

**** (out of 5)

BONUS:

Today's Sun Reader Comment of the Day prize goes to someone named Welcome to the Socialist Paradise of Torontograd:

"If only the poor people would rise up and defeat their masters, we would have clean washrooms."

Gandhi couldn't have said it better himself.

3 comments:

  1. Isn't that the dad from 'Family Ties'?

    ReplyDelete
  2. You meant to say Poolitzer, right?

    ReplyDelete