Front and centre: Former Leafs captain Rob Ramage is going to jail for four years. So, what did he do that was so wrong? He's guilty of the "crime" of partying too hard in his car. He partied so hard in his car that his friend passed away and everyone got angry at him. Pathetic. This is just another sad example of Toronto's fun-hating, "live to work" culture.
Top: You're telling me I can meet my 2010 Toronto Argonauts today? But, I'm not ready! I haven't a thing to wear and the ice box is empty. Quick—go get some Italian pizza pies while I put on my football skirts! Also: the Lotto Max jackpot is at $50 million, which is the same amount most CFL players make each year.
Bottom: Things around the Arizona Bar & Grill have been awful quiet ever since the World Cup ended. Anyone mind if I busk? To break the silence? Fine, I get it. But next time you need to hear a bunch of Sublime covers don't come running to me, fuckfaces.
Summary: Rob Ramage used to be imprisoned by his moustache. Now he's imprisoned by a prison.
* (out of 5)
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