Welcome to Toronto Sun Cover Reviews, a blog on which I post daily reviews of Toronto Sun covers.
Monday, December 13, 2010
13 December 2010
Front and centre: Wow! I know one ten-year-old bully who feels like a gigantic huge piece of crap today! And rightfully so. It's despicable when a powerful, mean spirited boy (or tabloid newspaper) exploits someone weaker to compensate for overwhelming feelings of worthlessness. This bodes well for us, though: if the Sun has a disabled child on the cover today, tomorrow's cover will likely feature the Hottest Woman in the World kissing a banana or buying sausages or something. These things work in cycles, sort of like civilizations and the popularity of ska.
On top: A Swears Woman is disappointed that no one is fixing up her ramshackle house. Also: a tiny man has won $15 million. Should he use his newfound wealth to fix the swearing woman's house and hire a contract killer to assassinate the ten-year-old bully? In addition: 32 pages of sports for us to deal with.
Beneath the boy: This is an X-ray of Santa's colon.
The Toronto Sun is the city of Toronto's most reactionary/hilarious newspaper, with a broad readership that includes everyone from old men who wear track pants and fish in the Don River to young women with Support Our Troops tramp stamps.