Friday, January 28, 2011

28 January 2011

Front and centre: The Sun's crusade against TTC workers continues with this exposé of a bus driver who was texting while driving. This sounds like something a certain Ralph Kramden would have done on The Honeymooners. I can just picture him in front of the audience, texting his crazy friend Norton something funny like: "r u getting ur polio shot today? lol" It was a classic program!

The left: The world's #1 ranked pick up artist is visiting Toronto this weekend to teach men how to be more successful at doing intercourse on women. This is how the "article" by Mike Strobel begins:

Gone are the good old days when a fella could just whack a gal with his club and drag her to his cave.

Damn you, Gloria Steinem.

Gone are the days, indeed! This is one of the most heart-warming love letters to the golden age of rape I've ever read—and I'm not forgetting about Roman Polanski's adorable 1977 confession. I certainly wouldn't want to be Gloria Steinem right now. The mind boggles to imagine how she'd respond to this endearingly folksy plea for non-consensual sex. Hats off to you, Monsieur Strobel!

Oh, and if anyone can give me a lift to this super important workshop, let me know.

Also: Gone are the good old days when a fella could just pay for his dinosaur meat with stones and tiger skulls. Damn you, whoever-invented-money! And that's why we have lotteries.

At the bottom: One fail-safe way to get a woman to fall in love with your crotch is to run her over with your brand-new pickup truck. She'll be so impressed by your rad new wheels that she won't be able to not say yes!

Summary: "One of the days, Alice. One of the days." — Gleason

*** (out of 5)

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